Freeloading Friend

QUESTION:
Dear Pop Shrink Julie,
A friend of mine who I've known for years keeps coming over to my house unexpectedly, usually during dinner time. She also owes me money and has started asking to borrow my clothes. What can I do to stop her from mooching and get my money back?

ANSWER:
Have you ever come home and walked in on your friend and one of her chubby cronies making sausages in your kitchen while dancing to Polka music?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAUP1wsmqUU
If not, then at least your friend is not quite the frenzied freeloader as Kramer from Seinfeld. Its amazing how much Jerry let him get away with. But if you think about it, maybe Kramer didn't have money but he provided other things like offers to get him free (illegal) cable for his TV, a chance to wear a pirate shirt during a televised interview, interesting and sometimes suprisingly solid advice, and boundless entertainment. Perhaps you can make a list of the good things this person does bring into your life that is "priceless". If the list falls short, she might be like Kenny Bania, the wanna be, whom Jerry just does NOT find appealing as a friend. But, even if you do find that this person has valuable friendship contributions, and just want to have boundaries with her, prepare for that important conversation. Take a deep breath, repeat "Serenity now!" and address the issue as directly as Puddy did when he asked Elaine if she stole his "Jesus Fish". Just be careful to use "I" statements or you might end up with a Newman like nemesis.